For a long time, I thought leadership was about being tough.
I’m Gen X. That’s how we were brought up.
Tough love. No hand-holding. No long conversations.
Dust yourself off, get back up, and get on with it.
And to be fair, it worked on us.
Or at least, we thought it did.
But what I’ve had to unlearn over time is this:
What worked then doesn’t work now.
And pretending otherwise is lazy leadership.
Tough love isn’t leadership anymore
I remember a boss emptying my bin onto my reception desk because I left without emptying it.
Did I ever forget again?
Absolutely not.
Did it teach me the lesson?
Yes.
Would I ever do that to someone today?
Not a chance.
I’m not saying it was right, I’m saying it was effective for me. But effectiveness doesn’t equal good leadership, and it definitely doesn’t scale across generations.
The generations coming through now want leaders who:
- Listen
- Make them feel safe to speak up
- Actually care how they’re treated
And honestly? That matters to them, a lot.
Gen X now sits in CEO, C-suite and senior leadership roles. If teams feel unheard or unsafe, that’s on us.
Clock-watching kills trust
Another thing I’ve had to unlearn?
Being rigid about start times and finish times.
I’ve been that leader. Someone turns up late, you pull them aside. They already feel awful. Now they’re less productive and more anxious.
Life happens.
Traffic happens.
Kids get sick.
Stuff goes wrong.
Giving people flexibility and autonomy tells them one thing:
I trust you.
Yes, you can be taken advantage of, I get that.
But if you have the right people, clear expectations and measurable outcomes, then let’s stop policing the clock and focus on results.
I know I’ve felt better for it.
And so has the team.
I remember a 12-month review with one of our property management team. I asked what made Presence different to previous companies he’d worked for.
His answer genuinely stopped me.
He said:
“I feel trusted. I don’t feel like my every move is being tracked. And because of that, I give more to this company than I ever have before.”
That floored me.
Holding people back “until they’re ready”
This one still challenges me.
Our team in their mid-to-late 20s want to move fast.
They don’t respond well to “no”.
They want progression, now.
And instead of seeing that as entitlement, I’ve had to see it as ambition.
Businesses today need to be geared for growth:
- Clear pathways
- Stepping stones
- Safety nets
Opportunities that allow people to learn without putting their reputation on the line.
I can’t remember a single time I asked for a promotion or a pay rise.
I just put my head down and assumed it would come.
For the most part, it did.
But even with my current CEO role, I didn’t ask. I didn’t even think it was possible. And imagine if I’d been overlooked for an incredible opportunity simply because I didn’t speak up.
That was a big moment of reflection for me.
What leadership looks like now
We have to stop seeing younger team members as “too young” or “not ready”.
Our job as leaders is to:
- Build pathways
- Pass down knowledge
- Take considered risks
- Replace ourselves
Not protect power.
Take the risk.
Do the work.
Let people grow. You won’t regret it.
